


An Incredibly Odd Wedding

by SanguineInk



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: An Embarrassing Amount Of Fluff, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, oh no the fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-23 12:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17683655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanguineInk/pseuds/SanguineInk
Summary: Jackie calls Rose to tell her she's getting married. Rose drags the Doctor with her to attend.





	An Incredibly Odd Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> I'm cross-posting stuff from my old Fanfiction.net account. This one was so silly and fluffy I remember being kind of embarrassed when I wrote it. But it had a lot of favorites, so I'm putting it up here. Enjoy. 
> 
> Originally published in 2010.

The Doctor and Rose burst through the TARDIS door into the console room, slamming the door shut behind them just in time.

“Can’t—believe—you told him—his wife looked like—a horse!” Rose gasped, leaning on her knees as she tried to catch her breath.

“Well she _did_ ,” the Doctor pointed out, slinging his overcoat over a coral strut. “Didn’t you see her teeth, like…” He made a face that imitated the poor horse lookalike so brilliantly that Rose laughed even harder.

“And horses are very noble animals!” the Doctor continued defensively, “There’s much worse creatures for a queen to look like!”

“Like what?”

“Like—like—” His brows pushed together as he thought. “Like Votrons!”

Rose collapsed into the captain’s chair. “Votrons?”

“Yeah. Heads look like someone’s punched them in the nose, and their face hasn’t quite popped back out.” He cracked his knuckles and wiggled his fingers above the console’s controls, manic grin lighting up his features. “Do you want to meet them?”

“I’ll pass, thanks,” she said, still shaking with laughter.

“Hmm, probably a good idea, now that I think about it. Last time I met them, the chief decided humanoids made excellent desserts—”

A tinny ring suddenly interrupted him. Still giggling, Rose reached into her pocket for her phone. “It’s Mum.”

The Doctor sighed melodramatically. “Go on and answer it then.” He turned his attention back to the myriad of dials and switches on the console. Where to next?

Rose answered her phone. “Mum?”

A high-pitched shrill sounded from the phone, unintelligible words pouring out with the elegance of shattering glass.

“Sorry,” Rose mumbled into the phone. The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at her from the console, obviously amused, and Rose mouthed “Shut it!” at him while listening to the phone.

The Doctor idly flicked another switch and reached for a lever. Maybe the waving mountains of Felspoon…His hand stopped, hovering over the lever. Nah, he could do better than that.

“What do you mean you’re getting married?!” Rose interrupted suddenly.

The Doctor actually laughed. Oh, he managed to choke it back down of course, quickly resuming an utterly disinterested expression, but from the glare Rose gave him it was obvious that she’d noticed.

“Well, of _course_ I’ll be there, Mum,” Rose continued, rolling her eyes at the Doctor as he mimed gagging. “Yeah, I’ll be a bridesmaid. What color’s the dress?” She wrinkled her nose in disapproval. “Seriously? Would’ve thought you’d have gone for more of a lilac.”

The Doctor pushed a couple buttons. Maybe they could pay the Beatles a visit….

“Yeah, he has a tux, but I don’t think he really likes this sort of thing,” Rose continued. The volume of the phone babble increased. “Alright, fine, fine! We’ll be there. Where and when is it?” She let out a frustrated sigh. “Mum, we’re in the _time vortex,_ we could be anywhere, anywhen right now, if we land we might end up in the Middle Ages or sommat! So where and when is it?” She nodded. “Alright, we’re on our way—no he’s not going to show up a year late, he promises to be on time, don’t you Doctor?” This last part she called out to him.

Now concentrating on whether Rose would most appreciate 24th century Mars or Midnight, the Doctor idly called back, “Oh, sure, cross my hearts.” No, forget those silly leisure planets, he was going to show her the birth of Plovak 6. Now _there_ was something utterly spectacular. Except he vaguely remembered taking Leela there once, and he really didn’t feel like running into himself today…

“Mum’s getting married,” Rose announced, tucking her phone back into her pocket.

“I know, I heard. What do you think, city or country? I’m in a rather urban mood myself…”

“She wants us to come.”

The Doctor’s nose wrinkled. “Really? Now?” Rose gave him a pointed look, and he sighed. “Oh, alright.” He moved around the console activating controls as he read off coordinates. “Earth…London…”

“Saint Bernard’s chapel.”

“Saint—Saint _Bernard’s_ chapel?” The Doctor stammered incredulously. “Your mother’s getting married in a church named after a _dog_?”

“She didn’t name the church!”

“Alright, then, Saint Bernard’s chapel. Time?”

“June 22,” Rose prodded.

“June 22…that’s the last year we visited her, right?”

“Guess so,” she shrugged. “She didn’t say.”

“Well, don’t blame me if we end up a year early...or late.”

“And that’s 3:00 in the afternoon, but she said to get there ten minutes before.”

He twirled a dial. “Two…fifty pm.”

“And before you land us, you better go change.”

The Doctor ran his hand through his hair in befuddlement. “Whatever for?”

“I told her you’d wear your tux.”

“Rose, it’s a _wedding_.”

“Which is why you’re wearing a tux.”

“But—”

“Doctor, just go. For me. Please?” Before he could protest, Rose plowed on, “Because it’s my _mum_ and apparently it’s important to her that you be there and I want her wedding to be perfect and we can go wherever you like afterwards. Okay?” She gave him her best smile.

He heaved a huge sigh. “Oh, alright.”

“Thank you!” Rose hugged him tight. “And I’ve got to go find some nice shoes that go with mint green. Ta!”

* * *

The Doctor stepped from the TARDIS, wrinkled his nose, and adjusted the bowtie on his tuxedo.

“You look fine,” Rose assured him, “Bowtie and all.”

“I don’t know if it’s really _me_ …” He sniffed.

“I like it.”

“ _Well_ …” He finished adjusting it. “What are you wearing that dress for? Aren’t you changing into a bridesmaid gown or something?”

Rose glanced down at the silk dress that matched her mint green shoes. “Well, I don’t want to walk into my mum’s wedding in jeans and trainers.” She glanced down at _his_ trainers, torn between amusement and disapproval.

“Well, you look lovely!” the Doctor beamed, taking her hand as they joined the crowd milling around the church. “So who’s the poor bloke she’s getting married to, anyway?”

“He’s…” Rose’s eyes widened. “She didn’t mention his name! I don’t even know who he is!”

“ _Well_ , knowing your mother he can’t be _too_ bad…” The Doctor pondered for a moment. “Oh, who am I kidding?”

But before Rose could reply, Jackie shoved her way through the crowd to them, clad in a silk lilac gown. “Oh, good, you made it!” she gushed, snatching Rose’s wrist. “Come on, I’ve got to get your hair done, quick!”

“You decided on lilac, after all?” Rose remarked as her mother anxiously yanked her away. “See you soon!” she yelled back to the Doctor, who waved back grimly. This entire affair reeked of domestics.

Suddenly he heard a beeping noise coming from inside his jacket. He rummaged through his pocket for his sonic screwdriver and inspected the tool closely. Well, looked like the day wouldn’t be a total waste at all. Something alien had invaded Jackie’s wedding. Something very small, and not moving, but he knew from painful experience that size did not determine danger level. Uneasiness lingered in the back of his mind. He should find it, make sure it was safe….

* * *

“Hurry, hurry, hurry!” Jackie chanted, shoving Rose towards the dressing room and starting to yank at the zipper on the back of her dress. “Out of that!”

Kicking off her heels, Rose cried, “I don’t have any shoes that go with lilac! And you never mentioned, who is this bloke you’re marrying anyway? You could have at least introduced me before—”

“You don’t need them!” Jackie interrupted, pulling out a white gown and holding it out to her.

Rose stared at it, then at her mother. “Aren’t _you_ supposed to be wearing that? Except you’re wearing a bridesmaid…” Her eyes bulged. “Mum?!”

Jackie put one hand on her hip crossly. “Rose, you’re my only daughter, and you’re never going to meet anybody while you’re off in space. And I’ve seen the way you both look at each other.”

“ _Mum_.” Rose’s cheeks burned.

“If he’s taking you away from me, he better at least give me the ceremony I’ve been dreaming about since you were born!”

“But Mum—”

“And he’s waiting for you!” Jackie insisted, yanking the white dress on Rose despite her daughter’s protests, “The Doctor’s going to be standing at the end of the aisle, and we’ve got five minutes, so _shift_!”

Rose froze in shock, and Jackie took this opportunity to finish manhandling her into the wedding dress. “What do you mean, the Doctor’s going to be standing at the end of the aisle?”

“That’s what you want, isn’t it?” Jackie asked in exasperation, raking a brush through Rose’s hair and frantically pinning it up.

“Well, yeah, I’d love it, but he doesn’t _do_ that sort of thing—ouch!”

“Don’t they have brushes on other planets?” Jackie whined.

 “I wasn’t expecting to get married when I woke up this morning!”

“Eyes shut,” Jackie ordered. She barely gave Rose time to oblige before she was poking, plucking, and brushing various products all over her face.

“But I had to drag him in here, are you sure he wants to do this?”

“Sure, sure,” Jackie said, replacing one of the pins in Rose’s hair. “Shoes!” She snatched a ridiculously tall pair of heels and shoved Rose down into the chair. “He’s thrilled about it, sweetheart.” She strapped Rose’s feet into the heels. “Now stand up.”

Rose stood up and wobbled, unused to heels after so much time wearing trainers. “How do people _stand_ in these things?”

Jackie placed the veil on Rose’s head and stabbed more bobby pins in it to keep it in place. Then, she took a step back to admire her handiwork. “Oh, Rose, you’re _beautiful._ ”

“…And the Doctor _hates_ this sort of thing, and now he’s not going to just watch he’s going to actually _marry_ me?…Mum, are you crying?”

“I’ll be fine, sweetheart,” Jackie sniffed. She glanced at the dressing room clock. “Oh, hurry, we’ve only got a few seconds!” She shoved a bouquet of deep red roses into her daughter’s hands and ushered her towards the door as the music started playing…

* * *

Frowning, the Doctor followed his screwdriver through the wedding, ignoring the strange looks other guests gave him. “Excuse me, excuse me…”

“Watch where you’re going!” screeched a woman who looked and sounded eerily like a much older Jackie Tyler. A great-aunt, perhaps, judging by the visible genetic differences…Suppressing a shudder, the Doctor refocused on his sonic screwdriver, which was still beeping incessantly.

Only minutes remained until the wedding would start. He had to find whatever the alien thing was, and quickly. Suppose it was some sort of bomb? As much as he didn’t like screechy women, they _were_ Rose’s family, and he didn’t want them vaporized.

He lost the signal a few times due to the size of the crowd, but found it again as he increased the frequency of his sonic screwdriver. He found it easier to move around as guests took their seats in the pews, but a sense of urgency pushed him onward. He didn’t have much time—the wedding would start any second now.

At long last, he found it. The source of the signal was right inside the flower arrangement in front of the altar. His eyes widened in alarm. He had to get to whatever it was—if it was a weapon, Jackie and Rose and the mysterious groom would likely be right next to it when it went off. Where _was_ the groom anyway? And Rose?

He dashed to the front of the chapel, ignoring the dozens of eyes fixed upon him. Forcibly nudging the priest aside, he explained, “Excuse me, but there’s something not from this planet in here—Potentially dangerous, but don’t be alarmed, I think I’ve got it…” He stuck his hand into the flowers.

His fingers brushed on a hard item and he pulled it out. The tetradroiric figurine Rose had given Jackie for Christmas? What was it doing in the flower arrangement?

He straightened as the first note of the organ boomed through the chapel, sticking the sonic screwdriver and figurine back into his jacket pocket. “Ah, nothing to worry about, I’ll just—”

The minister grabbed his arm as he turned to leave. “No, this is the part where you stand there and wait.”

“But I’m not—”

“You’re Dr. John Smith, aren’t you?” The minister insisted impatiently.

The Doctor’s eyes darted frantically around searching for an escape, but all he saw was dozens of people gawking at him. “Yes, but—”

“So _don’t move_.”

The Doctor froze as the chapel doors opened, hearts pounding in a frenzied samba. Jackie Tyler wanted to marry _him_?!

The white gauzy figure began its journey towards him down the aisle in time with the music. He exhaled a sigh of relief to see that it was not Jackie, but Rose.

And then he forgot to inhale again.

Rose was breathtakingly lovely, and the Doctor could no longer think of his indignation at being tricked or the relief there wasn’t a bomb in the chapel or the fact that all of Rose’s family was ogling him or anything really but _her_. The confusion on Rose’s face disappeared as their eyes met, replaced by a beaming smile that he quickly decided made several suns pale in comparison. She was utterly beautiful, and so utterly _Rose_ that he barely noticed when the minister released his arm.

When Rose reached the altar, her smile only seemed to grow wider. “Hello,” she said nervously.

“Hello.” He said back, mouth stretching into a dazed grin.

The minister gave a small cough, and they both fell silent.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”

The Doctor’s eyes glazed over, still staring at Rose, and Rose just nodded her head occasionally, unable to keep the smile off her face. She was positive her face would break.

The Doctor snapped back to attention as the minister turned to him. “And do you, John Smith, take Rose Marion Tyler to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward—”

“And backward,” the Doctor interrupted.

The minister stared at him for a moment, clearly miffed, before adding, “And _backward_ , for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward—”

“And backward,” the Doctor added again.

“ _And backward_ , until death do you part?”

“Hold on, no, don’t like that bit,” the Doctor decided with a frown. “Strike that ‘until death’ part and stick in…” He paused. “For all of space and time.”

The minister’s brows raised incredulously. “For all of…”

“Space and time, yes.”

The minister blinked, took a deep breath, and repeated quickly, “Do you, John Smith, take Rose Marion Tyler to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward _and backward_ ,” he added before the Doctor could interrupt, “For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward and backward, for all of space and time?”

“Oh, why not?” the Doctor grinned. “I do!”

Relieved to have this part of the ceremony over, the minister turned to Rose. “Do you want the backwards too?” He asked, bemused.

“Yeah,” Rose answered, wondering if she was dreaming. “And instead of the until death part, stick in ‘forever,’ will you?”

The minister shrugged. “Do you, Rose Marion Tyler, take John Smith to be your lawfully wedded husband and to have to hold from this day forward and backward, for better and for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward and backward, forever?”

“I do,” Rose vowed, practically glowing.

“Quite right too,” the Doctor replied before he could stop himself. Rose stuck her tongue out at him as an indignant shriek came from the audience. He had a nasty feeling it was Jackie.

“If you have any rings, exchange them now,” the minister continued.

The Doctor patted himself down. “Ah!” He reached into his pocket, producing a small gold ring. “Biodamper!” He slid it onto Rose’s finger.

For the first time since she’d walked down the aisle, Rose’s smile started to fade. “Um, what do people on your pl—I mean,” she broke off hastily when she saw the minister’s raised eyebrow. “People in your country do?”

“Nothing really…” the Doctor trailed off.

“Token of any sort?” The minister pleaded, evidently wondering if he had a drunk groom on his hands.

Rose yanked the head off one of the roses in her bouquet, hurled her bouquet haphazardly into the crowd, and stabbed the rose through his lapel with one of her hair pins. “There.”

“Brilliant!” remarked the Doctor.

“I now pronounce you man and wife,” the minister continued, “You may now kiss the bride.”

Rose lifted her veil off her face.

“But that’s a lot of people…” the Doctor started, rubbing the back of his head uneasily as he looked at the vast crowd before them.

Rose leaned forward expectantly.

The Doctor kissed her…and kissed her….and kissed her….

Rose finally broke off. “It’s just supposed to be a quick peck. There’s kids.”

“Really? I’ve never done an Earth one before…that would explain why your great-aunt looks a bit upset…Blimey, that’s a big, heavy-looking handbag…can we run now?”

“Unless you want your cheeks pinched by everyone in my family at the reception,” Rose agreed.

“Right then.” He took her hand and took off at a sprint down the aisle, dragging Rose behind. “RUUUUUUUN!” his cry echoed down the aisle as they dashed.

Before any of the crowd had recovered from their shock, the Doctor and Rose were both out the chapel door and in the street, making a mad dash for the police box on the opposite side.

Barely keeping up with the Doctor in her ridiculously high heels, Rose stumbled and fell with a cry into the street.

The Doctor stopped instantly. “Rose, you alright?”

“It’s these stupid shoes!” she winced, yanking the straps off in frustration, “I think I busted my ankle.”

Without another word, the Doctor scooped her up and continued dashing towards the TARDIS, leaving the shoes behind. He crossed over the ship’s threshold with her in his arms, kicked the door shut behind him, and pressed several buttons on the console with his foot and elbow.

The guests, slightly recovered from their surprise at seeing both a runaway bride _and_ runaway groom at the same time, gathered at the windows just in time to see the blue box vanish into thin air.

* * *

In the TARDIS’ med bay, Rose reclined on a stretcher, leg extended, while the Doctor inspected her ankle.

“So am I Rose Smith now?” she asked idly.

“No, you’ll always be Rose Tyler.” He ran a machine over her ankle, tasting her name over and over. “Rose _Ty_ ler, Rooose Tyler, _Rose_ Tyler…”

“OK, I get it,” she laughed.

“Clever woman, your mum,” the Doctor mused, turning to rummage through a cabinet. “Left that metal figurine you gave her last Christmas by the altar to lure me over there. Thought it was a bomb for a few minutes.”

“So you didn’t volunteer,” Rose said quietly. “I thought…Sorry.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” the Doctor remarked, body half inside the cabinet that was clearly bigger than it appeared. “I’m rubbish at my own weddings anyway.”

“Your own?” Rose wondered. “How many weddings have you had then?!”

The Doctor emerged from the cabinet clutching a metal frame and small bottle. He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Ah…seven? Eight? Do plants count?”

Rose stifled a laugh. “What’d you marry a plant for?”

“Well when it’s ‘marry my daughter or I’ll boil you in vegetable oil, O great demon of the blue box’ I always tend to choose the former.” He set her ankle in the metal frame and rubbed some of the lotion from the bottle on her skin. “Especially as it’s really only valid on that planet during the bride’s lifetime.”

“Oh,” Rose frowned. “So we’re not really married then.”

“Why, don’t you don’t want to be?” he asked, barely keeping the forlorn look from his eyes.

“Well, yeah, I do,” she insisted. “I just thought…do _you_ want to be?”

“Do the words ‘for all of space and time’ mean anything to you?”

“You meant that?”

“Well, yeah.” The Doctor squeezed her ankle experimentally. “There we go! All better.”

Rose flexed her toes and grinned at the Doctor again. “So we’re married.”

“Yep.” He popped his ‘p,’ hands in his pockets.

“So, one more question…” Rose stood from the stretcher.

“Anything,” the Doctor offered.

Rose stuck her tongue out playfully. “Where’re you taking me for our honeymoon?”

The Doctor rubbed his hands together eagerly before taking her hand and leading her back to the console room. “Oh, I’m sure I’ll think of something…”


End file.
